The Grouchy Digest. You – stop staring and get me some coffee.

Hi there lovers. Wednesday has marched around again, and I am in a true Humpday Huff. My back hurts, I’m tired and I really do NOT understand why my coffee cup is empty, AGAIN. Somebody help a blogger out, here.

Anyhoodle, forgive me if there are extra doses of anger/snark in our Internet round-up today. If you got me a cup of coffee this wouldn’t happen, you know.

Let’s start with the cheerful news that Britain is out of money (and the U.S. is not far behind). Cheerio, hip hip and all that.

In Republican Contender news, Romney squeaked by with a win in Michigan and Arizona. None of this is surprising, although I am saddened by Newt’s drop-off despite a great performance in the last debate, and by Santorum’s inability to NOT say things that are not presidential nor helpful. Ron Paul is, well, Ron Paul, trucking along like the good ol’ guy he is.

Also, if you’re nervous about being mauled by a grizzly in the woods, don’t bother protecting yourself. Because you know how it is, there’s these crazy people out there who are hot and ready to shoot a park ranger on sight, and I’m sure that making the rest of us less safe will stop them.

Speaking of protecting yourself, what if I told you that a grandfather in New Hampshire is awaiting trial for reckless conduct after stopping a thief from robbing his house. I ask you, what good are our Second Amendment rights now? Why have a gun if you can’t even use it to scare a crook, much less injure or kill one?

Now I’m all upset about guns. Really, you should think about that coffee.

A outdoorsy blog announced this week that China should probably kill the electric car, since it’s sort of maybe kind of dirtier than a gas-powered vehicle. Why won’t they suggest the same for the U.S. and drill, baby, drill? Because they are more devoted to an ideal and a political party than they are to the environment or the economy. Sad but true.

Remember how in the Arizona debate, Ron Paul made the point that we cater more to illegal immigrants than legal ones? Oh, L.A., you never fail to amaze. Hey, did you just wash up in San Diego, pardner? Welp, here’s directions to your local welfare office, and free education for your kids and free healthcare… oh, that’s not enough? OK, here’s a driver’s license. Welcome to AMERICA! Land of the welfare state, home of the illegals!

What was that whole “burning the Koran” thing? Oh, right. The truth is so antiquated, you guys. Don’t even bother, just bring me coffee already.

Most people don’t know who the Koch brothers are, and if you do, you probably only know them as Evil Oil Barons who Like Republicans and are therefore Very Bad Dudes. This story might clear that up a bit for you.

Well, since no one has brought me coffee yet, I guess I’m going to have to hunt some down myself. Things can only get better from here, my friends.

2012, California... here we come, Culture with a side of Pop, News Rag Roundup, World events

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  1. Pingback: The Super Tuesday Tattler (on Wednesday) | The Cute Conservative

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