I’m just going to burn through today’s round-up, because I am busy and important and if I spend too much time on any of these stories I might start frothing at the mouth. On to the news!
Remember when California over-legislated everything and it spread like a cancer? Yep, soon your grocery sack could be outlawed, thanks to the meddlers in San Fransisco. This reminds me of a great Portlandia sketch, which you obviously need to watch:
Speaking of remembering things, listen up, kids. If you’re ever about to make yourself look like a foreign policy trainwreck, check to make sure you DON’T have a hot mic.
Are you a member of the 1%? Maybe you should take up beekeeping to avoid paying taxes and then lecture everybody else about generosity. Smells like rock and roll to me!
So a kid got shot. People are upset about it. President Obama decided to make money off of it, because that’s the best, most decent and mature way to handle this.
I’m a small business person in California, so this story makes me feel great. Check out the beauties of bureaucracy, my dears, and run to Nevada instead. Speaking of small business, Herman Cain blew up a bunny and it was weird and funny and damn, I miss him on the campaign trail.
Elsewhere on the campaign trail, Rick Santorum said a bad word and all these big-boy reporters clutched their pearls and flailed for their smelling salts. If one more person feigns shock or indignation over someone expressing his or her opinion I’m moving to Canada. (Just kidding, just thought I’d pull an Alec Baldwin there.)
Want to know what to think about Representative Paul Ryan’s budget and Medicare plan? Look no further.
Also, since Obamacare is being debated at the Supreme Court, you should probably listen to this.